Last updated: 13/12/2007

Perceived wisdom dictates that one should never begin a presentation, or newsletter for that matter, with an apology. Nevertheless, to those of you who took heed of the note stuck inside last year’s Christmas card and navigated to the section of our web site where we had allegedly secreted, password protected of course, our annual letter I can only apologise for being so badly organised that said missive never did materialise. What you see before you, therefore, is a roll-up of the events which took place over the last 2 years, hopefully with the boring bits left out (I will leave you to be the judge of that). I will do my best to keep it as brief as possible.

First and foremost let me assure you that we have all survived the ravages resulting from the passage of another 24 months; although the fact that I now need to wear glasses to read is testament to the fact that some parts have prospered better than others. We have no pestilence, breakages or mental deviations beyond what we have come to consider normal to report. We didn’t sail through entirely unscathed, however, as a several hour session in Bournemouth A & E did manage to worm its way onto the roster. It has to be said that watching a nurse scrub open grazes with a plastic scrubbing brush and picking grit out of the same with what looked like the end of a potato peeler did nothing for the appetite. The victim, one Miss Chelsea Ashton Crosson Smith (aged 14 at the time) now understands why remaining seated on the saddle of a bike whilst hurtling down a shingle path in the New Forest, rather than emulating the somewhat flightless turkey, is the only way to travel unless one is rather fond of gas & air with a side order of blood-gushing. You have eaten before reading this, haven’t you?

As we forewarned in the 2005 newsletter, we headed off to Florida in March 2006 to do the Disney thing. Time for a confession – I really expected Disney to be tacky, plastic and a painful experience. To my amazement it was not at all tacky, extremely well done and extremely enjoyable to all. The shows, in particular, were stunning. We won’t, however, talk about the food which in the main we found quite revolting. If ever you find yourself in the unfortunate position of considering a take-away turkey leg covered in what looks, and tastes, like creosote please remember this one desparate plea and DON'T DO IT! I always thought that leather was the hide of a bull but that is only because the skin of a processed take-away turkey is too tough to work into shoes and handbags. Anyway, top marks to the Disney production team, no marks to the take away turkey team.

As ever, we didn’t do things by halves. We went with another family (the girl on the left of the photo is called Chloe) and the women managed the parks with military precision. Over a 3 week period we did all of the Disney and Orlando parks, including three water parks, as well as Busch Gardens and the Kennedy Space Centre. In fact we visited most parks more than once. We did not miss anything that we wanted to do and only waited in a queue once for 40 minutes or more. On top of that, Chelsea and I managed to go diving and I dived to 100 feet through an inland submerged cave, which was pretty cool.

We hit 21 years of happy, blissful, fulfilled marriage last year (got to be careful as She Who Must Be Obeyed is bound to take a peek at this). Far be it for me to point out that by straying over to the wrong side of the judiciary "life" would generally mean a mere 18 years or so these days. Anyway, celebrated with a visit to the Waterside in Bray which was stunning, as one would hope from a 3 Michelin star establishment. No beans on toast on the menu there. 4 years to save up until the 25th.

Quite a bit of change on the work front: I left Bottomline Technologies (formerly Checkpoint) in November 2006 after almost 12 years to join a company in Bracknell called Kognitio. I now sell a rather clever database technology which is used by companies to support large scale data analysis. A year in and I am still very much enjoying myself and have had some notable success thus so far so good.

Wendy has expanded her role at Wokingham Borough Council as well and now looks after both adult learning and libraries (if a library goes missing in your area, you know who to call!).

As you will know from having got this far on the web site, one of the big events for us last year was buying an apartment 250 paces from the ski lifts in a little know resort in France called Balcon de Villard, just outside of Villard de Lans. This was one of those life-goal moments as we have wanted to do it for many years but there were (and still are!) always 100 things to be attended to ahead in the queue. There are photos on this web site (start from www.crossonsmith.co.uk and follow the menus on the left) and Villard is a very French resort where English is rare. If you have not yet tried it I recommend opening a bank account in a provincial French town entirely in French. The poor manager was obliged to attempt to explain the detail of the rather long documentation in French which was slow enough and basic enough for us to work with. French bureaucracy, slow and basic? Chalk sandwich with a cheese chaser anybody?

As the photos elsewhere on this site show, the setting is idyllic and we use it in both summer and winter. We spent our first ever Christmas abroad there last year and a fascinating experience it was too. We arrived on the Saturday and ran around like mad things worrying that we may be too late to stock up on the necessary luxuries. Imagine our surprise to discover that it is quite normal to stock up on Christmas eve and that the supermarket was open on Christmas day. There we were, Brits abroad, treating Christmas day as some sort of, well, day of sloth and gluttony really, whilst the locals quietly went about their business. Given the appalling lack of snow up and down the Alps last year we were extremely fortunate to get 6 reasonable skiing days and Tiff took up snowboarding which is entirely in keeping with her image.

We also spent a fortnight in Villard in summer with some friends (The Austins for those who know them). I got to play the golf course 3Km down the road which turned out to be a tough, but breathtaking venue. Breathtaking firstly because of the views but secondly because, well, some silly sod built a golf course up the side of a mountain and we are not goats (goats, it has to be said, do not have the correct appendages for holding golf clubs). Add to that a jaunt down from around 2,000 metres to the apartment at 1,100 metres ("it will only take 40 minutes" was Wendy’s now infamous battle cry, which was still ringing in our ears 1hr 30 mins into the venture), a trip to some stunning underground caves and the Austins leading us astray by teaching us how to play Texas Hold-Em poker and, of course, copious amounts of wine and food to round off a pretty good way to spend a couple of weeks in the sun (whilst it rained relentlessly in the UK). Oh yes, and the mountain bikers.....if your idea of fun is pointing a bike down a mountain following what in winter is a pretty respectable black run then be my guest but make sure you have the number of the local A&E in your pocket and that you like the taste of gas & air.

I wouldn’t want to give the impression that we are forever having holidays but somehow Wendy gets good mileage from my 5 weeks per year: we also managed to fit in a long weekend on the Norfolk Broads in May, a week in Cornwall during October half term and a weekend rugby trip to watch England v Tonga with 4 friends. That was definitely a weekend for the scrap book as we had a great time and what started out as being a minor game turned into a pivotal one in order for England to go on to the quarter finals. Many have commented as such but it is remarkable the difference in attitude that rugby fans have for one another compared to football fans and the atmosphere both on the Metro and around the ground was fantastic.

The girls continue to make good use of the Mum & Dad Taxi Co. They are both at the same secondary school now as Tiffany moved up at the start of the year. Despite a heavy class and homework workload Tiffany still has 4 dance lessons a week after school and both Chelsea and Tiffany continue to go to a singing/dance/drama school on Sunday afternoons. The dancing lessons seem to be working though as Tiffany passed her grade 3 ballet with a distinction last year.

Buying a house 2 minutes from a rail station is something I would recommend highly to anybody who will have teenagers at some point. The independence that this brings to Chelsea, and us, is extremely welcome as she can get into town with her friends extremely easily.

The scary thing is that Chelsea is 15 years old but looks like an 18 year old and Tiffany, who will be 12 in January, is not such a bad looking bird either. For those with daughters who have already been through their teens it is now time for you to gloat - for those who have daughter's who are yet to become teens be afraid, be very afraid! Having said that, thus far we have had a very good time of the teenage years - although there are still a fair few to come. Having started her GCSE years, Chelsea's transition to serious academia has begun. Only a few more years before she rises to the Student Union bar, that ultimate pinnacle in the rise through that swathe of red tape they call government targets.

Living in a house full of women (bar, let us not forget, the oversized rat, that bastion of over-ambitious manhood that is Toby the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) the boy thing was only going to become ever more serious. But having stopped Wendy chasing the window cleaner we now find that romance is rife in Winnersh (that well know lurve capital of the South east). Chelsea has been going out with Sam for 9 months and Tiffany has her first boyfriend called Theo - both are fine rugby playing chaps so can't be ALL bad. Sam has even survived numerous visits to Priory Court. I have done my best to look mean and scary but I think the growl needs a little work - still, there is always the killer guard dog.

So there you have it. To a large degree a potted account of the last 2 years. I am bound to have missed bits out - some of them may even have been relevant. I hope that this newsletter finds you well. Do drop us a line at steve@crossonsmith.co.uk to tell us what you are up to and maybe even see you in 2008.

Steve